Friday, April 16, 2010
Sighs..It's been a while since I've updated my blog. Welp..I guess it's time for me to start my "Rant and Roll" session. My dad kicked me out of the room because he wanted his "Me" time. I rode the bus to the library. I thought it was waste of time because I couldn't stop wondering when I'm going to get my first REAL break. As usual, I emailed publishers and I searched through twitter in hopes of finding a publisher. I was bored and depressed. I have no other source of income and the money I spent for bus fare could have been put to better use. I contemplated about seeing that new Tyler Perry flick called "Why did I get Married too" but I changed my mind. I spent a couple of a hours in that damn library. I spent the whole time thinking about my finances, my life, my presence, my past, and my future.The more despondent I became the more I wanted to exit that f*cking library. By the time I left the library, I decided that I wasn't going to take the bus home.I wanted to walk and ponder my predicament. I thought about how bad things really were two years prior to now. I remember when I lost my job, my car, and my studio apartment and I also thought about my so called family. Especially my b*tch @$$ ex uncle. He and his wife are one of those religious nuts. They preach a good gospel but they contradict their selves every time. Basically, they're full of shit. These are the same people who wires money to ravenous impoverished children in third world countries. One time my ex uncle told me he wired $1,0000.00 to T.D. Jake's deceptive bald headed @$$. They're willing to lick the pearls out of his mud hole. He and his wife are willing to help strangers before they help their own flesh in blood. It's nauseating how they revere these fraudulent @$$ fleecers. We never asked them for a damn thing and when we really needed their helping hands..they turned their backs on us and dragged our names through the mud. My aunt begged this bastard to wire money to us via western union. We had no food in the refrigerator and I was the only working adult in the house hold at the time. This decomposed snaggletoothed fished eyed chump tells us he loves us but when we ask him to reach out to us..he tells us that his "God" told him not to help us. This T.D. FAKES calls him self a man of god but he doesn't practice what he preach. He and his other half idolize the ground that Pimptificating ass T.D. Jakes walks on. These motherf*ckers have the gull to trash, bash, blast, and lambast my dad by saying he isn't a real man after all of the sacrifices he made for us. My dad parted w/ alot of sentimental sh*t just so we wouldn't go hungry or homeless. My ex uncle and his wife aren't oblivious to that shit. They know it's the truth. Just because my dad isn't a christian and doesn't observe holidays doesn't mean he's some satanic witch demon. Most of my family members portray my dad as the bad guy, especially my ex uncle and his wife. While his wife is fighting this bullsh*t war and putting her life in jeopardy, he's probably at home f*cking her best friend. He proclaimed he would never have an extramarital affair..HORSE FEATHERS! I know he f*cked the walls out of her bf's vajayjay. No woman in her bright and right mind is going to allow her single best friend to stay with her husband while she's overseas for several months to a year. I don't care how holier than thou my ex uncle claims to be..he's still a man in the flesh. While his wife is out of the country..he's f*cking the holy ghost out of her best friend. I don't give a shit how much he prays and thumbs through the bible. These motherf*ckers preach the gospel but I don't think they know what it means. When they verbally attacked my father it felt like a kick in the ribs. How dare they call their selves "GOD's Children" when they walk around crucifying folks. They're in NO position to scold anyone. They kicked us while we were at our lowest. After they denounced my dad..I no longer communicate w/ them or acknowledge their existence. I've officially disowned them. F*CK THEM & THEIR GOVERNMENT CHECKS! The only support system I have is my parents and my only sister. EXTENDED FAMILY MY BLACK LLOYD LOVING ASS...FUCK EM! When we fall down NONE of them are going to lift us up. I pray and I hope that I have a speedy victory...I've already created a mental "F*CK YOU" & "THANK YOU" list for the people I will never forget and the people I'm going to purposely forget about..I had coworkers who helped me while many of my so-called relatives dropped the ball. I understand how tough it is for many people but if you're able to reach out to someone..It's the most spiritual and humane thing to do. One day I'm going to have my time to shine, forget, and move on..