Friday, July 29, 2011

My recent Interview with Hip Hop Exchange. Shout Out to Laze Carteren!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Rapscallion Alert!! Rapscallion Alert!! Rap scallion Alert!!

First and foremost, I'd like to thank all my fellow blog minions! HOW U ALL DEWIN! *Wendy Williams voice* Anywhore, I recently had a couple of run-ins with a few rapscallions, who assailed me for speaking to Lloyd. Yes, I'm a facetious person and I have every friggin' right to tweet whatever and whenever I friggin' please!

See, this is what happens when you value this Twitter shit more than your own life. If you fit the bill, you are one sad and troubled soul. I mean, who loiters in another person's mentions all day and attacks them when they THINK the person is speaking against one of their favorite celebs. Get a life you, fuckwad! It's my goddamn Twitter! I can tweet whatever the frick I want. So, buzz the fuck off, you shit flies! You don't even know me from a 2 Liter bottle of Pepsi, yet you think you have me pegged lol. Lloyd ain't stuttin' your hobnobbing, door knob slobbing, bobble head bobbing, insecure sobbing asses! Ya'll need to sit your asses in a spider-infested corner, because you're slowing killing off the last bit of smartness you do have. I mean..when you open your stupid holes, you're killing all the butterflies with your hot, stinky, stanky, shit talking, breaths! Put a lid on those sewer holes will ya?! I can't deal and I'm not going to try. I'm just going to show you ass clowns instead. I am from a different tax bracket while you're from the "Talk shit while broke crew" bracket. I have already roasted you in one of my older blogs. I think you need another refresher course.

Perhaps if you trolls take your brains out of your asses, put them back into your hollow heads, and put your heads together, you'd be able to come up with something more worthwhile and dynamic.All of this E-thuggery has gone too doggone far! But all you groupies and potential groupies are going to witness the shock in your beady, fish eyes LOL!

Let me tell you something, real thugs/thuggettes don't make idle Twitter threats, they implement them in person without any announcement. Yep, that's right.I'm not going to reveal the culprits because they're not going to get any shine on my blog.

While you twitter trolls are reprimanding me and Tweeting Lloyd all damn day, you ought to invest in how to improve that wack ass fan club you adore so much. It's people like you cyber gangstresses who make the whole damn DISORGANIZATION look WORSE. Oops, did I say that?! *In my Steve Urkel voice* But you're going to find out before I do.

You're waaaay over you're heads and I'm waaay out of your leagues. You all have the answers under your noses but you're still too SLOW-tarded to smell it! That's because you're afflicted with, "The Mini Yellow School Bus Syndrome."

Yes, "The Mini Yellow School Bus Syndrome" is quite contagious, folks. It even has you talking like Mush Mouth from, "Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids" Cartoon. The side effects includes and are limited to: Falling victim to the dumb down masses, ripping your hair out of your scalp when Lloyd doesn't tweet you back, foaming out the mouth and going into convulsions whenever someone has an opinion that is contrary to your opinions about Lloyd, losing your bowels and bladder in excitement when Lloyd retweets and/or tweets you back, and crying, and feeling suicidal whenever Lloyd doesn't tweets or retweets you.

Yes, folks these are the symptoms but they are curable. All you need is a daily dose of a reality check and you'll be HEALED! Reality Check is bitter, but it's free, organic, and it's SAFE. My best advice to you would be, to not fall victim to popular stupidity. Because you'll end up like these fuck headed Cyber Thugs/Thuggettes. Twitter thugging is a cyber crime, folks! And when you tweet a lot of bullshit/threats to folks you don't know, you can be jailed! And I'm not speaking about Twitter jail either! Oh and if you Twitter thugs/thuggettes are reading this, this applies to you too. Stay in your lane Twitter crickets or you're going to get SLEDGED HAMMERED! And we all know, that crickets don't have a skeleton. Lmao!

I implore you to stop while you're ahead. Because I got something brewin' for that azz! Rat-a-tat-tat! *Winks* I hope you were entertained while reading this blog, because I was entertained while writing it. Until the next blog post, Toodle-loooo! :-)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011


Check out the excerpt of Ebony the Beloved! Ebony the Beloved


Copyright 2010 Hannah Spivey


“Hey, what it do Lashun? IT‟S SHOW TIME!” Carmen said with enthusiasm. She showed up in the nick of time, as Lashun was increasingly ready to start and finish the job by her lonesome.

“About damn time Carmen, you sure know how to keep a niggress waiting!” She huffed.

“Girl shut the hell up. I‟ve already told you I was going to be here in a timely manner. You see me standing here, don‟t you? Let‟s get this shit over with so we both can dip out of here before getting caught.” Carmen countered.

Ebony was now wondering what was really going on, and was anxious to leave. She had no idea what was about to happen.

“I need to leave before I get into trouble.” She grabbed her off the sink and headed toward the door until Carmen stood in front of her, blocked her passage with her foot, and said, “Bitch, you are not going anywhere.”

“Huh?” Ebony was totally baffled and she felt her heart do flip flops.

“I only said all of those things to you to lure you into the restroom so that we can fuck you up.” Lashun said with a sinister smile.

“I must say you put on one hell of a performance. Good job girl.” Carmen applauded and high fived her girl.

“Thank you” Lashun happily took a bow as if she was being praised for an Oscar worthy stage performance.

Carmen pulled a razor from underneath her tongue. Ebony gasped as if she was struggling for air.

“What‟s the matter boo? Are you scared?” Carmen taunted.

“Wait a minute Carmen. You did not tell me that you were going to use a razor.” Lashun stepped in front of Carmen‟s face.

“Bitch, I know what I said. I‟m head bitch in charge. You only do as I say not question what I do. Shut your dumb ass up and do as I say before I give your ass a black eye like I did the last time.” Carmen lashed out at Lashun.

“Ok,” Lashun whimpered. Carmen also pulled a pair of brass golden knuckles out of her back pocket and she slid them onto her hand. She balled her hand into a tight fist and then she went into her over sized Louie Vuitton tote bag. She pulled out a pair of scissors, and a camera, and she placed it on the the sink counter.

“Please don‟t hurt me.” Ebony struggled to say through sobs, as tears ran down her face. Carmen ignored her comment.

“Take this camera and scissors. You‟re going to get all of this shit on camera while I‟m fucking this bitch up. After I have my turn with her, I‟m going to take the camera from you, and you‟re going to cut all of her hair off, and then I‟m going to slice her face up to finish the job. Just make sure not to film my face while doing so, okay?” instructed Carmen.

“Oh-oh-okay” Lashun stumbled over her words. Lashun was growing uneasy about the whole thing. She no longer wanted anything to do with the ambush of Ebony at all. Slapping her in the face and cutting her hair was one thing but disfiguring her face was another. She knew that if she objected or tried to back out of the plan at the last minute, Carmen would wreak havoc.

One time Carmen punched her in the eye for questioning her motives. She had told Lashun that she‟d slept with a prominent wealthy business man who owned several banks in downtown Miami and downtown Fort Lauderdale.

“Carmen don‟t you know that Kill Joy is going to kill you if he finds out that you‟re cheating on him? Girl, what the hell were you thinking?” The next thing Lashun knew, she felt a smack on her mouth and had fallen straight to the floor.

“Who the fuck do you think you are? You must have forgotten that I was the one that rescued your punk ass from that drunk ass lush bitch of a grandmother of yours. If it wasn‟t for me, your ass would still be boosting clothes or fighting those carpet munching dykes off your pussy in jail. Don‟t forget that Kill Joy put your „bama ass excuse for a boyfriend on the block. So don‟t get it twisted because all I have to do is give Kill Joy the word and your bitch ass man will be unemployed and I‟ll drop your ass like a bad habit and find myself another bitch to chill with. Remember: I don‟t need you. You need me, so let that be a warning. Get your bitch ass up off my floor and clean your face.‟‟ Carmen spat. She was not the kind of person who liked being questioned except by Kill Joy.

Since that incident, Lashun did what she was told, and listened without anymore hesitation.

“Please don‟t hurt me. I said I was sorry.” Ebony reiterated in a defeated tone. Backing up away from Carmen and towards the wall, Ebony felt completely defeated. Carmen was the kind of person who believed in handling business first and answering questions later. She slapped Ebony with the back of her hand. The impact of the slap was so profound, that Ebony flew against the wall nearly hitting Lashun who was standing behind her. Her nose starting bleeding and Ebony saw dots.

Carmen said, “Lashun I need you to start filming NOW.”

This time Lashun did what she was ordered to do. She couldn‟t stop her hands from shaking. Carmen sauntered over to Ebony‟s body. She picked her up by her hair and dragged her over into one of the stalls that had a toilet infested with feces and urine. Lashun began filming the whole thing.

“Don‟t film my face girl” Carmen warned.

“I know, I know.” Lashun responded, turning on the camera. Ebony was semi-conscious until Carmen lifted her up by her hair and shoved her whole head toward the toilet.

As she realized what Carmen was about to do, she screamed for dear life; but her screams fell on deaf ears, because her head was hastily shoved into the toilet bowl. Ebony struggled to break free from Carmen‟s grip, but she flailed her arms to no avail. Carmen on the other hand was hysterically happy; Ebony‟s torture was her joy. Lashun didn‟t like the whole thing, and was beginning to feel sorry for Ebony, even as she continued filming. This was something that she wouldn‟t wish on her worst enemy, but she went along with it just to appease Carmen.

“Lashun move out of the way,” Carmen ordered. Lashun was too scared to move. Her feet felt numb. Carmen repeated again, “Ho, are you deaf? I said move the fuck out the way.”

Carmen‟s insult snapped her out of her daze, and she quickly obliged and opened the passage for Carmen to drag Ebony out of the stall by her hair. Ebony was struggling to get free and she was choking and coughing on the filthy toilet water. Ebony reeked of feces and urine, and her clothes were drenched and soiled. She cried out for help, not understanding why all of this was happening, but her cries were stopped short with another blow to the chin. Carmen punched her hard enough to make her bite her tongue. She then gave her a sock in the eye and blood flew out of Ebony‟s mouth as she fell to the ground.

“BITCH, I FUCKING HATE YOU. DIE BITCH, DIE!!!” Carmen shouted. Carmen began repeatedly kicking Ebony‟s limp body as she lay on the floor. She kicked her in the stomach numerous times, stepped on her face, and twisted her foot as if she was squashing a bug.

Once she was finished, she spat on her and wiped her mouth with the back of her sleeves. Ebony was in so much pain, that she couldn‟t muster up enough strength to plead for mercy.

“Ok Lashun, it‟s your turn to slice and dice this smut cunt and—Carmen stopped midsentence as she realized there was an eerie silence in the bathroom. Lashun was gone. “Ain‟t this about a bitch? This trick up and bailed out on me. She even has the fucking camera. Man when I see her ass I‟m going to make her wish she was aborted.” Carmen was fuming and once she saw Ebony lying on the floor, she spat on her again and scurried out of the locker room before getting caught.

Despite Ebony being seriously beaten and nearly drowned, she‟d overheard everything Carmen had said. Although Lashun was just as guilty for assisting Carmen in premeditating the crime, she was very thankful that Lashun was scrupulous enough to catch cold feet and get the hell out of dodge before doing any more harm to her the way Carmen had. She winced in pain before succumbing to unconsciousness. Fortunately, Carmen didn‟t get the opportunity to cut off her

beautiful coily hair. Coach Murphy walked into the locker room and saw Ebony on the floor. She walked over to the girl.

“Lawd have mercy! Who done dis to you child? Oh my lawd sweet jesus.” She rushed over to Ebony and cradled her unconscious body in her arms.

“I need help in here!! Somebody come quick. Come quick, now!!!”